Name:Carami Country:United States State:New York Metro:Brooklyn Birthday:2/9/1986 Gender:Female
Interests:Orions belt, the dark side of the moon, books,music, handball, music and alcohol. but most of all I'm interested in you. yes, you. Expertise:writing/singing Occupation:Student Industry:Entertainment
being around friends is easy because I can pretend that I'm not feeling pain. And if I do chose to talk about what's bothering me, I can speak about it in a non-chalant way which is always better than displaying any kind of emotion.
So, in any case my grandmother is suffering dearly in the hospital. I never wish to see her that way again. I hate the idea that she's already a memory. I keep thinking "Its the end of her time." and that is just a small comfort. I think about her all the time and when Im not talking about her Im only pretending that Im not thinking about her. They are fighting for her life, but she just wants to die. No one should be in so much pain. Two heart failures? I think thats enough. Let it be over.
So christmas was great, wonderful, everything I ever wanted. I had good food, good family, good gifts, isn't it that what its all about really? even though I tried to ruin people's christmas' by telling them it was originally a pegan holiday (WHICH IT IS!!!) it didn't really work because people just refuse to belive me. but whats the big deal anyway? Its just a birthday.
I read something the other day that made me like Jesus more. Its in the New Testament, the gospels, Mathew 10:18 methinks, his instructions to the diciples. This is what happened: One day, jesus got pissed off, he went and started spazzin. He told his diciples: "Don't be so sure I came here to make peace." Then he goes on this whole rampage telling people they can't roll with him unless they are ready to hate their mothers fathers wives brothers sisters and even themselves. I read it and I was like OH MAN! jesus was gangsta! Usually they make jesus seem all soft and what not. Always so gentle and giving people advice and being all nice to everyone. But that is not the case damn it!!! Jesus was a thug son! a generous thug, but a thug none the less. Think about it. And then go here: www.thebricktestament.com
They say nice guys finish last? Well screw that theory, cause nice
girls finish last too. I know people who are mean. People who spend
their entire day calling other people stupid, complaining about the
girl who forgot to put sweet and sour sauce on their chicken mcnuggets.
Complaining about the asshole who stepped on their brakes in the car in
front of them. its complaint after complaint after complaint. Everyones
an asshole except for themselves.
But those people get all the respect. They get all the love. They get all the boys. They get everything they want.
While people like me, who do what they can every moment to be sure that
no one is uncomfortable around them, who learn how to respect and be
understanding of others? I keep hoping that my efforts wont go
unnoticed when it counts.That someday, the universe will realize it
forgot me, and Ill get something good for a change. But people like me
get shit. Shit. remember
that.
You think, youre all grown up now, so the same rules and regulations
dont apply. You've changed so much so no one has the right to
treat you the same way they did when you were 11, right?
materialistic_layouts♥♥
//
// 1.0 (February 11, 2003)
// - initial release
//
// 2.0 (May 12, 2003)
// - cross browser: it runs in IE, Netscape, Mozilla and Opera
// - ready for the upcoming (beta tested) changes at Xanga
// - clickable smileys, even for non-IE users, displayed in buttons
// - customizable number of smileys displayed in one row
// - customizable smiley button size
// - easily adjustable: only two arrays to maintain
//
// 2.1 (May 12, 2003)
// - preloading images for faster performance
// - XP Bugfix
//
// 2.2 (May 17, 2003)
// - necessary adjustments made because of recent changes at Xanga
// - made suitable for Mac users!
// - runs only at the comment page for increased performance
//
// HOW TO USE:
// For use at Xanga only. Copy this entire code (including the script tags)
// and paste in the Website Stats box at your Look and Feel page. Make sure
// the previous version of this script (if any) is completely removed first.
//
// The script contains two arrays: "textSmileys" and "realSmileys". The items
// present in the array "textSmileys" will be automatically replaced with the
// corresponding images in the array "realSmileys". You can modify the arrays
// as you see fit, as long as both arrays keep the exact same number of items.
//
// For example, suppose you want to add some smiley to the script... that would mean
// in "textSmileys" you would add a shorthand like ":some_smiley:" or {somesmiley},
// and in "realSmileys" you would add it's url: "http://www.dude.com/some_smiley.gif".
//
// SETTINGS:
// - "maxNumberOfSmileysPerRow": number of smileys that will be displayed in one row.
// Smileys above that number will automatically be added to a new line. 10 by default.
// - "buttonSize": size of the smiley buttons in pixels. 30 px by default.
//
// AVAILABILITY:
// The script has been tested in the latest versions of IE, Netscape,
// Mozilla and Opera (Windows 98).
//
function typeSmiley(sSmiley)
{
if (document.getElementsByTagName('textarea')[0].getAttribute('name') == 'bdescr')
var editor = document.getElementsByTagName('textarea')[0];
else
{
var allTextAreas = document.getElementsByTagName('textarea');
for (i = 0; i < allTextAreas.length; ++i)
{
if (allTextAreas[i].getAttribute('name') == 'bdescr')
{
var editor = allTextAreas[i];
break;
}
}
}
editor.value = editor.value + sSmiley;
}
function replaceTextSmileys()
{
// ***add textual emoticons to the array below
var textSmileys = new Array(
":)",
":(",
":wink:",
":p",
":lol:",
":mad:",
":heartbeat:",
":love:",
":eprop:",
":wave:",
":sunny:",
":wha:",
":yes:",
":sleepy:",
":rolleyes:",
":lookaround:",
":eek:",
":confused:",
":nono:",
":fun:",
":goodjob:",
":giggle:",
":cry:",
":shysmile:",
":jealous:",
":whocares:",
":spinning:",
":coolman:",
":littlekiss:",
":laugh:");
// *** add the url's from the corresponding images below
var realSmileys = new Array(
"http://www.xanga.com/Images/smiley1.gif",
"http://www.xanga.com/Images/smiley2.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/AliceSmileyAnimatedWink.gif",
"http://www.xanga.com/Images/smiley4.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileylol.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/7_mad.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/heartbeating.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/SmileLove.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/eProp.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/SmileyWave.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/sunnySmiley.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/wha.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/yes.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileysleep.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileyrolleyes.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/SmileyLookaround.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileyeek.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileyconfused.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/SmileyAnimatedNoNo.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/propeller.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/goodjob.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/emot-giggle.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/blueAnimatedCry.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Animatedshysmile.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/AliceJealous.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/19_indifferent.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/Smileyspinning.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/25_coolguy.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/AliceSmileyAnimatedBlinkKiss.gif",
"http://i.xanga.com/Alice/LaughingAgua.gif");
// *** number of smileys that will be displayed per row
var maxNumberOfSmileysPerRow = 10;
// *** button size in pixels
var buttonSize = 30;
// preloading images
var preloadedImages = new Array(realSmileys.length);
for (i = 0; i < preloadedImages.length; ++i)
{
preloadedImages[i] = new Image();
preloadedImages[i].src = realSmileys[i];
}
var allTableData = document.getElementsByTagName('td');
var indx;
var smiley;
var replacement;
for (var i = 0 ; i < allTableData.length ; ++i )
{
for ( var n = 0 ; n < textSmileys.length; ++n )
{
if ((allTableData[i].innerHTML.toUpperCase().indexOf('TABLE') == -1) &&
(allTableData[i].innerHTML.indexOf('previewHTML()') == -1))
{
indx = allTableData[i].innerHTML.indexOf(textSmileys[n]);
if (indx != -1)
{
while (indx != -1)
{
replacement = '';
indx = allTableData[i].innerHTML.indexOf(textSmileys[n]);
smiley = ''
replacement = allTableData[i].innerHTML.replace(textSmileys[n],smiley);
allTableData[i].innerHTML = replacement;
}
}
}
}
}
if (document.URL.indexOf('weblogs') != -1)
{
var smileyCollection = new Array(realSmileys.length);
var smileyBar = '';
if (document.getElementById('htmleditor'))
{
for (i = 0; i < smileyCollection.length; ++i)
{
smileyCollection[i] = '';
}
}
else
{
for (i = 0; i < smileyCollection.length; ++i)
{
smileyCollection[i] = '';
}
}
for (i = 0; i < smileyCollection.length; ++i)
{
if (i != 0)
if ( (i/maxNumberOfSmileysPerRow).toString().indexOf('.') == -1)
smileyBar = smileyBar + ' ';
smileyBar = smileyBar + smileyCollection[i];
}
// add SmileyBar
infoLink = '' +
'Smiley Script
';
smileyBarHtml = ' Add Emoticons ' +
'Simply add emoticons to your comments by clicking them! ' +
infoLink + smileyBar + '
';
if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Mac') == -1)
{
if (document.getElementById('htmleditor'))
var obj1 = document.getElementById('htmleditor').parentNode;
else
{
if (document.getElementsByTagName('textarea')[0].getAttribute('name') == 'bdescr')
var obj1 = document.getElementsByTagName('textarea')[0].parentNode;
else
{
var allTextAreas = document.getElementsByTagName('textarea');
for (i = 0; i < allTextAreas.length; ++i)
{
if (allTextAreas[i].getAttribute('name') == 'bdescr')
{
var obj1 = allTextAreas[i].parentNode;
break;
}
}
}
}
var obj2 = document.createElement('span');
obj2.setAttribute('ID','idSmileyBar');
obj2.innerHTML = smileyBarHtml;
obj1.insertBefore(obj2,obj1.firstChild);
}
else
{
// alternative solution for the Mac
for (var i = 0 ; i < allTableData.length ; ++i )
{
if ((allTableData[i].innerHTML.toUpperCase().indexOf('TABLE') == -1) &&
(allTableData[i].innerHTML.indexOf('previewHTML()') == -1))
{
if (allTableData[i].innerHTML.toUpperCase().indexOf('(OPTIONAL)') != -1)
{
var temp = allTableData[i].innerHTML;
allTableData[i].innerHTML = temp + ' ' + smileyBarHtml;
break;
}
}
}
}
}
}
if (document.URL.indexOf('weblogs') != -1)
replaceTextSmileys();
